Friday, July 14, 2006

Lot In Life

I didn't realize it until I read a comment by my dear Maybef. Part of the reason I've been so frustrated lately, is because I feel useless. I feel bad, because I'm pushing my mom and myself further and further in debt every semester. I would feel, at least a little better if I could get a summer job to pay at least some of it now. Granted I do some work around the house. But I feel really bad when Mom is running around the house trying to get things done and I'm laying on the couch. (Not because I want to be.) Anyway, anyway, that's not what this post is supposed to be about. I'm sure you all are sick of my "realization" posts by now, but tough! It's my blog. Hehe! Lately I've been dreaming of being able to pay back my debts, and heck, while I'm dreaming, pay off my mom's debts, too. But MB's comment stopped me short (and made me cry.) I find it truly funny and ironic that I passionately wanted to join the Hawthorne Dominicans, partly to help people realize that just because a person can't work, or even dress themselves, that they are still a human being deserving our love, attention, respect, and help. After that fell through, I settled on bioethics, so I could help the elderly, the unborn, and the very sick. So other people would know that they deserve the same as anyone who "pulls their own weight." Somehow in all of this, I managed to overlook myself. Silly, huh? I'm ready to crusade for other people who don't have a voice because of age or infirmity, while belittling myself for the very same thing! I've been waiting for the day that I'd be able to "pull my own weight" again. When I could get out into the world and work, earn a living, and do some good. But I've almost completely overlooked the fact that I am still a person with worth as I am. I can help people and hopefully lead them to God even when I'm sick. So I guess I'm just trying to say, thanks Mary Beth. Thank you for reminding me that I'm a human. :)


Blogger Learning to be Alone said...

Aww, thanks Jenne! I mean you're welcome. Er - yeah. Of course you're a human being, and you're one with a far more powerful life meaning than most of us can ever brag about. Gotta go to Mass. I'll pray for you! Love you lots.


6:21 AM  

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