Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Getting Married

Don't worry, the only wedding I forsee in my near future is Colin and Sarah's. I'm not getting married soon and don't even have any prospective grooms. But I can honestly say, I do hope I get married some day. I've finally come to terms with the nuns saying no (I know, you can say it, took me long enough!), and I really do hope to find Mr. Right. I got out some good ol' fashioned Protestant chastity/dating books. Well, actually only one. I read When God Writes Your Love Story. Good book. It really stressed how one acts now can change how ones married life turns out. I know that every action we make changes life for the better or worse, no matter how small of a change. But it really got me thinking about that in relation to the marriage vocation. (And as Stang says, "MARRIAGE IS A VOCATION." Funny story about that, I'll tell you later.) I can do little things now. Even things that have no relation to purity or chastity. Anything that makes me a better person, makes me a better woman, and eventually a better wife. Becoming more selfless, more prudent, more faithful, more wise, and more loving are all things I will need for my vocation. When I asked Sr. Agnes what I should do at Christendom to prepare for being a sister, she told me to live like one called to the convent. I really don't know how well I actually did that. *hanging head* I tried. Mabye that should have said something to me. . . Anyway, I'm going to do my best to live like one called to be married.

It's really a beautiful thing. Finding that one person who you will be closest to for all of your life. Someone to help you grow closer to God and become a better person. Someone who you can help do the same. Someone to lean on and someone to lean on you. Someone to laugh with and cry with. Someone to just sit and sigh with. (Oh boy, I'm rhyming, watch out.) And someone to take care of other someones with. Oh, motherhood. We'll cross that bridge when it comes! :)

I know sometimes when I was younger, the thought of finding this person seemed like a frighteningly large task. How would I ever know who was right? How would I find him? But now I'm excited. And I'm not going to look for him. God knows where I am and where he is, and when He wants us together, He'll make it happen. (Granted I have to make sure I'm not too dorky to miss it.) If I don't find him by the time I've graduated from college, that's okay. I suppose I'll get a little apartment and go to grad school and find some kind of job. If I don't find him by the time grad school is done, that's okay, too. Hopefully I'll be able to afford a slightly bigger apartment and maybe a better job. I will live in Laura and Mike's backyard and tell their kids stories about their mommy and I used to prank each other and other silly things. And as much as I like cats, I don't think I will have many. I'd rather have one cat and many dogs. And of course horses. But then again, if I find him anywhere in there is good, too. I can truly say that I'm just going to chill. I'm just gonna do the best I can with what I've got in the time I'm got. Who said that? Someone famous said that. Anyway, it all God's time.


Blogger Fidelio said...


Just kidding. Relax. That is my instant answer any time ANYONE says they're looking for "Mr. Right". :-) I'm so bad.

However. I love this post. Will you talk to me about all this stuff sometime? Will you write a book? There's this great simplicity, and sincerity, in what you've written that makes it all ring so true. There's a lot of literature out there for people to read who are discerning a calling to the married state, and sometimes it makes the issue so complicated--or else it only gives you information if you're engaged and staring down the business end of the aisle. Why do so few books (some do, I admit) want to talk about how you live and move and have your being in the long years before? In the times when you haven't met 'him', or have just met 'him' but shouldn't commit to preparing for marriage with 'him' just yet, or just have to wait and bide your time because you aren't finished with school or something? And I don't mean how you behave together. I mean how you conduct yourself as a still-single Catholic, who wants to be the best possible version of themself for their spouse.

Hmm. Getting off soapbox now. It makes me write fast without thinking a lot. Bad thing. But I mean all this. Wow. Thanks, Jenne.

3:56 AM  
Blogger Donna-Katie said...


When God Writes Your Love Story is one of my favorite books of all time - and I too, dredged up my good Protestant waiting-to-date books the other day, which I haven't cracked open since I was about thirteen, and am rereading "I Kissed Dating Goodbye." It's awesome. Totally awesome.

Now to implement it and stop worrying about stupid boys and let God do His God-thing...

'late have I loved you, O beauty, ever ancient, ever new...'

7:47 PM  
Blogger Donna-Katie said...

By the by, the little-apartment-job thing isn't half bad after all. You can come move in with me if you want. :)

7:49 PM  
Blogger Learning to be Alone said...

Beautiful post, Miss Jenne! I always love coming back to your blog after awhile away. New surprises at every turn. This was a great post, and I know exactly where you're coming from. Your outlook is so much better than mine! I appreciated your sharing it, it is really encouraging to me to think that I can just "chill," and all will be well - I so often forget that. I think, "Well, I've got to find this guy and get married A.S.A.P... time's a-wasting." But it isn't, really? As you said, its God's time. Thanks for these reflections, Jenne. You're awesome! Love you lots.

Good point, too, Jennifer, about the books. Where are those books on just being single? They're hard to find.

Mary Beth

6:49 AM  

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